1. |
Big Trouble Little 'gina
00:23
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2. |
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“Vaginal Inflammation with a Side Order of Blisters, Boils, and Sanguine”
Is it just me or is that uteral cess coming down your legs?
Vulvitis due to infiltrating viral infection!
Bloody sheets, tampons, and tissue…
How can such atrocities sustain on our lower extremities?
Your swollen vagina is inflamed, malignant, and rotting!
Decrepit cavern spattering and squirting all over me
Drenched in mucous, disease, and curiosity
Someone call a doctor!
She’s going into convulsions!
Bet you never guessed you’d die from the inside out
Mycosis of rashes and mumps!
Green gelatinous abnormality
All thanks to a lack of genital hygiene
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3. |
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“Emaciating Pus Stump Fortifying Putrid Cadaverous Stink”
My body lying dead in the street
Globbing gobs of jellified plasma and magnesium
Bloody heap for the buzzards to pick
Impregnated bacterium
Gestating pandemic contagion
Home for flies to breed
And maggot offspring to feed
I’m nothing more than a participant in decomp!
Capillaries and arteries clotted with coagulation
Fluids erupting from my body like a hose
Mouth left open – forming crust on my tongue
And every place that cess can grow
The final conclusion to life
Now a Sheppard of pathology
Embolism crepitating gray matter as every organ,
Abcess and bladder swells fatter and spatters in the matter of splatter!
Optic sludge drips down my cheeks
Making me weep even though I am dead
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4. |
Six Feet Plunder
01:53
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“Six Feet Plunder”
Can you smell it Patterson?
Well I don’t think we can dig this mass grave any deeper
Smells like money…
Breathe it in!
Bring out the dead -
There’s plots for the picking and mouths to be fed
Hands stained with red -
Grave robbing to ditch the bodies in the back of the shed
Making that cream off of gangrene!
Digging up the old stiffs to let the fresh ones drop
And selling back the used tombs a few thousand a pop
At Burr Oaks you know there’s controversy
In the mortuary when they house more con men than corpses!
From dawn to dusk then dust to dumpster
There’s always room for your loved ones here
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5. |
Sowell Hotel
01:24
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“Sowell Hotel”
Murder takes time to master
You truly can’t savor the kill
Until you’re knee deep in the dead
I wish all the people that I have killed
Could have felt the rush that I feel
When I quench these carnal urges
That seems to grow stronger still!
Then and again, I guess they never will - Ha!
I still wonder…
Fools, all those lies and they still believed me
Who’s next?
Cleveland Ohio, a place where the nerd gets the girl
And people drink coffee with yeast!
Where I like to stack the bodies high
Spray Febreze to hide the stink
Dames… I’d like to welcome you to the new House of Pain
Complete with rape, saw blades, and a shallow grave!
I promise you that if you don’t mind the sex
I won’t mind the stains…
Killing comes easy when you save her later to fuck!
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6. |
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“Homemade Lobotomy Tips Using Elmer’s Glue and Popsicle Sticks”
A basement performed lobotomy!
That pulsating wound on your forehead is bleeding quite profusely!
Here’s a few aspirin tablets for that throbbing migraine
Notice how I covered that exposed patch of brain with a roll of scotch tape
Head traumatic seizures worsen as you twitch on the floor
Would you mind closing your mouth cause you’re drooling all over my new shoes!
Human vegetable meat bag!
We’ve amputated your legs!
Drumsticks marinated, tenderized, and barbequed
How do they taste?
Lo and behold a retarded grin with liquid hickory smoke dripping from the chin
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7. |
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“Caucasian Raw Hide On Back Order”
Deep in the halls of the Burn Trauma Department
There is a financial trade between a patient, a doctor, and a fucking skin merchant!
Bodily reconstruction through franchise
Skin graft technology has brought back marketing human beings
Only this time… It’s done piece by piece!
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8. |
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“The Clump Chronicles of Aborto and Man Sheath”
Operator I need medical assistance!
I feel like my belly’s bursting and I’m splitting from the seams!
I don’t know what to tell you…
Tell me what is it?!
It’s a smegmated sibling…
Oh no, that can’t be! Tell me that’s not it! I think I’m getting sick! Tell me that’s not it!
Living together since our conception - a massive wad of calcified congestion
35 years as a fetal cruise liner – giving birth across the bikini line
Fuck cesarean scars!
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9. |
Fender Blender
01:37
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“Fender Blender”
Being brain dead does wonders for the automobile manufacturers
Cadaveric Sunday drivers reach sixty to zero with the aid of concrete
All in the name of science!
Meters mounted on the head, neck, sternum, and clavicle
Corpses propped up gently with seat belts fastened for safety as human crash dummies!
High speed frontal crash collision to gauge tempered glass resistance
Gaping scalp to chin lacerations from violent whip lash through windshield
You can’t give dead men concussions!
But you can give them plenty of hairline skull fractures
Improving car design and impact tolerance research
It’s nice to see the dead help the living
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10. |
E-Bollusa Coffee Talk
02:58
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“E-Bollusa Coffee Talk”
Mother… Mother!
Mother! Mother!
Can you change my bandages, my back is scabbing over
Oh no! Not now! My fingers have fused together and the ball games tomorrow!
Don’t look! Don’t touch! Talk to the boy whose skin is falling off…
Thinking of what to say to a batch of mummified children
Needing more bandages than a whore has pap smears!
I think I feel a little ill from the sight of these skinless creatures
Watching their own mothers hold back their tears
Excuse me mam… I seem to have puked all over your kid!
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Cryptic Gallbladder Splatter Los Angeles, California
After a decade of haunts, the quartet of misery has returned to bring forth a new gruesome
nightmare!
THE REAPING PHANTASM!
An audible spectral descent into a chasm of endless terror!
Join us as we usher doom through the ectoplasmic rift and witness the smoldered hands that come to drag you to your end!
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Contact Cryptic Gallbladder Splatter
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